Kait is from Carrollton, Ohio. In January of 2022, Kait and her boyfriend, Austin, were expecting a baby; it was the first time she had ever been pregnant. When the couple went to their first ultrasound appointment, there was a gestational sac, but no baby inside. A couple days after the appointment, Kait had a miscarriage.

“Our hearts were broken, but we got through it just by loving each other,” Kait said.

On July 3rd, 2022, Kait experienced her second miscarriage. At the time, she did not know that she was pregnant. Kait and Austin continued to lean on each other as life went on.

“As the months went by after that, I was scared and sad thinking it was my fault,” Kait explained.

April 14th, 2023, Kait found out she was pregnant for the third time. There were many emotions and feelings with this pregnancy.

“I was super nervous, but so, so excited. I thought we were finally going to have our rainbow after the storm.”

After a few ultrasounds, there was a baby with a strong heartbeat. It seemed like a normal, healthy pregnancy. Sadly, on May 18th, 2023, Kait experienced her third miscarriage.

“This one was very painful to go through and I’m still dealing with it,” Kait said. “God is who I run to. He keeps me calm and keeps me faithful. He keeps me hopeful for a brighter future.”

After Kait’s second miscarriage, she watched an interview of Taylor Prelac on Facebook, which is when she first found Brooks’ Bereavement Bears.

“I felt so happy in the fact that there was a woman out there doing this for others,” Kait said.

Very soon after, Kait received a message from Taylor, asking for her address so she can have a bear. As it turned out, Kait’s mom had reached out to Taylor on Kait’s behalf.

“I didn’t say anything about it (Brooks’ Bereavement Bears) to anyone. Not even a day later, I got a message from Taylor, the founder herself, asking for my address because my sweet momma had reached out to her about sending me a bear. Ever since, Taylor has been someone I know I can rely and count on,” Kait explained.

During these difficult months, Kait has found Brooks’ Bereavement Bears to be a non-profit that has helped her immensely. She is grateful for her bear, as well as the people behind this organization.

“There have been plenty of nights where I have felt alone or sad, and I just cuddle up to my bereavement bear. It helps ease the pain! The organization also helps me in knowing that I am NOT alone, even when I do feel like it. There are so many women who have gone through this same thing as I have.”

Unfortunately, friends, family, and strangers do not always react in the best way toward mothers experiencing a miscarriage.

“Always remember that this woman is going through one of the hardest things in life,” Kait explained. “It’s not just a ‘bad day,’ it’s a dark day. Be mindful of what you say and how you say things. It may seem genuine, but just think twice, or three times.”

When Kait was asked about any words of encouragement for mothers who are in similar situations, this is what she said:

“Honestly, there is a whole lot that I could say, but sometimes, words will never help. Just know that you are not alone. It’s not your fault. You are worthy of being a mother. You are beautiful. Everyone grieves differently, and everyone feels differently. Your way of grieving is not wrong or invalid.

What I try to steer to the most, is just going into prayer. It has seemed to really help ease my mind and makes me feel less lonely.”

“I would love to thank Taylor Prelac for her beautiful organization. I would also love to thank all my family and friends for being here for Austin and me through this.” – Kait Smith

The post About Kaitlynn Smith appeared first on Brooks Bereavement Bears.

There are multiple stages of grief, but it is not always in a straightforward order. One day, you may feel close to your “normal,” the next day you may feel like bursting into tears, swearing and screaming into your pillow. The day after that, you may not even have the energy to leave your bed.

It is okay to have these feelings.

Grief is how we deal with our losses; it is a natural part of life. The more you can understand about how grief may appear in your life, the better you will recognize it, as well as know how to handle the grief.

What is Miscarriage?

A miscarriage, or a spontaneous abortion, happens when a pregnancy is lost and ends before twenty weeks. According to March of Dimes, eight out of ten miscarriages occur prior to twelve weeks, and thirty percent of pregnancies result in a miscarriage. There are different risks for pregnancy loss and types of miscarriages, which can be found here.

Unfortunately, miscarriage is common, and with the statistics shown from March of Dimes, at least one out of four women will experience a pregnancy loss. You yourself may have experienced a miscarriage, and likely someone you know has been through a loss. It is a very difficult and sorrowful experience for many women and men, especially if the pregnancy was one that was anticipated and already loved.

What is Grief?

Grief is how we deal with any loss, whether it is a miscarriage, the death of a friend or family member, being laid off from your employment, ending a marriage or relationship, or even receiving a diagnosis that you did not want to hear from the doctor.

There are five stages of grief. With these stages, there is no specific timeline for each phase. Some may skip a stage of grief and others may experience a phase repeatedly. It depends on the type of loss, in this case, miscarriage, and how it has impacted you. It is important you know that your feelings through these stages are normal.

The Five Stages of Grief… What Does It Look Like?

The five stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Denial

• Denial is when it is difficult to grasp the loss.
• Even though a miscarriage has already happened, you may feel like there is still a possibility that the pregnancy is still there.
• You may attempt to distract yourself from the miscarriage with a hobby, housework, your job… anything to get your mind off the loss.
• You may avoid talking about the miscarriage. If you do talk about your loss, you may say things like, “I’m okay” or “everything is fine” when it may not be.
• You may not want to be around anyone, even your partner, and separate yourself from family, friends, work, and other activities in your life.

Anger

• Anger can present itself as self-blame. You may feel like it was something you did to cause the miscarriage and you may be angry at yourself.

§ If you feel this way, know that it is very unlikely that the miscarriage resulted in something you did. Miscarriage happens on its’ own and usually cannot be stopped once it has started.

• If you are religious, you may be angry at God.

§ “Why was my baby taken away?”

• You may be angry at your OBGYN or family doctor at how they could not do more to save the pregnancy.

• You may be angry at friends and family. They may have unintentionally said something to upset you after the loss.

§ People do not mean to be hurtful during this time. Many times, they do not know what to say, and end up saying something wrong.

• You may just be angry at the world. It does not matter really who it is – you are just furious.

Bargaining

• Bargaining can be used to mentally avoid a miscarriage. Intense thoughts come into play during this stage.
• If you are religious, you may try to bargain with God and make promises.

§ “If I get pregnant again soon, I will come to church more often.”

• You may spend time scouring the internet on why this miscarriage happened and what you can do in the future to prevent it happening again.
• You also may have “if only” types of thoughts.

§ “If only I knew I was pregnant, I would not have gone to Universal. I rode roller coasters all day long.”

§ “If only I didn’t miss four days of my prenatal vitamins, I would still have a pregnancy.”

§ “If only I didn’t have a sip of my spouse’s wine, then my baby would still be in my belly.”

Remember, it is very unlikely that the miscarriage resulted in something you did. Miscarriage happens on its’ own and usually cannot be stopped once it has started.

Depression

• The depression stage goes beyond the typical feelings of sadness. It is more than crying for a little while and feeling well enough to go on about your day. Depression lingers.
• It may be difficult to focus on everyday activities, such as a job, housework, or even taking care of your other children.
• You may feel like being pregnant or having children is not a possibility in your life.
• Seeing a celebratory post on Facebook of someone you know announcing their pregnancy may trouble you.
• It may be difficult to be around babies and young children in your life, such as nieces and nephews.
• Depression in grief can become clinical depression. It is important to keep in close contact with your doctor and your support system during this stage.

§ If you are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, text or call 988.

Acceptance

• Acceptance is when it is easier to handle the events of the miscarriage.
• The sadness of the loss may be with you for the rest of your life, but it is not as debilitating as it was before.

§ It may be easier to look at baby items at the store.

§ Seeing other babies may not be as painful.

• Acceptance does not always come right away. This stage may not come until another baby is in the picture.
• It can take years to reach this stage. It is important to surround yourself with people who love you and are there for you.

These examples of what can happen in each stage may not be what you or a loved one experiences exactly. Ultimately, if you feel like your feelings are abnormal or potentially harmful, reach out to your doctor and your support system.

How Do I Manage My Grief?

In the days following the miscarriage, there is a huge hormonal shift in the woman’s body, as she is adjusting physically and mentally to no longer being pregnant.

Depending on the relationship and personalities between you and your partner, the grief experiences you both have may not be the same exact length of time. There may be some tension in the relationship after the miscarriage.

It is important for you and your partner to communicate where you are in your grief, how the two of you are feeling, and to be there for each other.

Additionally, other ways to handle grief during this time include:

• Take care of yourself – showering, stretching and yoga, getting at least seven hours of sleep, and eating healthy (fruits and veggies).

§ Do not feel bad about self-care. It is important to make you a priority during this time.

• Feeling your emotions – if you need to cry, scream, or sit in silence, that is okay.
• Taking time away from work to process the loss.
• Having something to remember your baby, such as a bereavement bear.
• Journaling about your feelings on the day to day.
• Creating a schedule and sticking to it – a routine that you can follow every day to give yourself a sense of regularity.

§ Wake up, eat, journal, shower, and sleep at the same times each day.

• When ready, getting in touch with friends and family, as well as other people in your support system.
• Getting involved with a support group for parents who have experienced a miscarriage.

If you have not experienced a miscarriage, but you know someone who has, this is how you can be supportive:

If you can help in any way, give your assistance.

§ Do they need a meal train?

§ Do they need gas cards?

§ Can you watch their other children for an evening?

• If they are ready and willing to discuss their feelings with you, try not to talk too much. This is not an easy experience for them to talk about, and it is a natural response to fill the awkward and uncomfortable air with chatter. Try to listen more than speak.
• Saying things, such as, “you can always try again,” “it wasn’t a real baby,” “they are in a better place,” “they’re in God’s hands now,” ignores the impact of the miscarriage on your loved one’s life. You may mean it to be compassionate, but it can come across as hurtful. Be careful of your word choice. If you are not sure what to say, it is better to say nothing and just be there for them.

A miscarriage is one of the hardest experiences for a mother and a father. Sadly, it is something that happens often, but due to the sensitive nature of a pregnancy loss, it is not regularly talked about. Grief is normal during this time. It is important to recognize where you are in the grief process, know how to take care of yourself, and understand how to help others you care about during their time of grief.

It is okay to not be okay.

If you or someone you love needs a bereavement bear, please email us at taylor.prelac@brooksbereavementbears.com

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: text/call 988

References:

March of Dimes: Miscarriage

What Is Grief? Types, Symptoms & How To Cope

The 5 Stages of Grief After a Loss

Stages of Grief After a Miscarriage

How Couples Can Cope With Grief From a Miscarriage

The post What is Miscarriage? appeared first on Brooks Bereavement Bears.

Brooks’ Bereavement Bears gives stuffed teddy bears to mothers who are experiencing miscarriages. Founded in 2022, Taylor Prelac started this non-profit because of her own miscarriage in April of 2020. She lost her pregnancy during the COVID-19 pandemic and had to face the initial stage of the loss alone in the hospital, as nobody was allowed to be with her. She received a bereavement bear after her miscarriage from a loved one and was inspired to help others through this act of kindness.

“I wanted to give a bereavement gift for moms who are going through the same things I went through. I want them to know that they are not alone,” Taylor explained.

With over 200 bears given to mothers, Taylor has touched and decorated every single bear. She buys the bears from the novelty store, DEMDACO. Each bear is $16. After the bears arrive, she ties a little heart tag with blue and pink ribbon onto the bear. She personally prints the tag out and cuts each individual heart shape. The tag reads:

“Dear friend, you are not alone.

My heart aches for any woman who loses her baby. Part of my grieving and honoring my heavenly child is giving this teddy bear to you.

Please hold onto me when you need comforting.”

“The bears mean something to me. It is perfect for someone who needs a bear hug.” Taylor said.

After a long day at work and after putting her son to bed, she is often up until midnight working on the bears. Aultman Hospital asked her to make fifteen more bears for the month of July. Taylor does not hire anyone to help her; she uses her own time, money, and compassion to make these bears a comfort for women in the community.

“I want the bears to be perfect for moms,” Taylor explained. “I make sure the hearts and the ribbons on the bears are cut perfectly. If I am organized, ten to fifteen bears will take an hour and a half. If it is a day where it is difficult to be organized, the bears will take at least two hours.”

When the Six for 60: Endowment Fund Challenge was announced from the SCF, Taylor was very excited and hopeful for the future of Brooks’ Bereavement Bears, as it would cement the non-profit further into the Stark community.

“This would be life-changing. $10,000 would buy 625 bears for moms. Three years of bears would be funded.”

The financial assistance would greatly help Taylor and her mission, especially since hospitals in Stark County are continuing to ask for bears, and other areas have begun to reach out to Taylor as well.

“On September 10th, Aultman Hospital is holding a remembrance service. I am hoping to have 200 bears at that service to give to grieving parents,” Taylor said.

In just a few short months, Brooks’ Bereavement Bears has made a positive imprint in the Canton community, and we are incredibly hopeful and grateful for the opportunities to reach more mothers. For our non-profit to continue to grow, we need your help.

Brooks’ Bereavement Bears is a finalist in the Six for 60: Endowment Fund Challenge. We are in the Human Services category.

You can vote for us! You do not need to be a citizen of Stark County, either! Here is how to vote:

– Go through the Stark Community Foundation Website (https://www.starkcf.org/)

– Voting begins July 10th and ends August 10th.

– Voting is open to anyone with a valid email address.

– You can only vote once a day, but you can vote every day leading up to August 10th!

If you are unable to vote, that is okay! The best way to help us is through word of mouth about the bears, and reaching out if you or someone you love needs a bear. We are here for you.

Good luck to all the non-profits involved in the Six for 60: Endowment Fund Challenge! We are excited and honored to be alongside you in our community!

To vote for us starting July 10th, click here: https://www.starkcf.org/.

We are having a fundraiser at an Akron Rubber Ducks game on July 22nd @ 7:00 PM! You can buy tickets here: https://fevogm.com/event/Brooksbereavement?fbclid=IwAR04W54b5j_exz-QRiIEXHcu-XC1wYLTuL9U4PuXTaWNlr13a3609nJhs6o.

If you are interested in the website where Taylor buys the bears, click here: https://www.demdaco.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjwhdWkBhBZEiwA1ibLmK-63rQABA96GShMbTGRSMyitWx9emeBpJ11wvKylDY8AKDxhwc8bBoC9IoQAvD_BwE.

If you or someone you love needs a bereavement bear, please email us at taylor.prelac@brooksbereavementbears.com.

If you would like to share your story, please email us at taylor.prelac@brooksbereavementbears.com.

The post Brooks’ Bereavement Bears – Six for 60 appeared first on Brooks Bereavement Bears.

This idea came after my loss in April of 2020 when I was 9 weeks pregnant. It was the height of COVID and I had to go to the ER in Akron, Oho alone while my husband waiting in the parking lot only to hear the grim news from a phone call.
No one could hug me or hold my hand while I cried.

I had a DNC a week later and was giving a teddy bear from a family member. It was so nice to hold and cry at night.

A couple of months later, we got pregnant again with our now 2-year-old son Brooks.

The night I had the positive pregnancy test, We went out to dinner. We came out of the restaurant to a beautiful full rainbow. Babies who come after a miscarriage/loss are called Rainbow babies. It was a sign from God and my baby in heaven that everything was going to be alright.

I decided to buy a couple of the same bear I received and put a pink and blue ribbon on it and attach a message of hope and love on the bear’s neck and donate the bears to the hospital where I had my DNC in Ohio to give to other women.

After Brooks was born almost a year to the day of our loss on April 5th, 2021, I decided to pursue the idea of making these bears into a non-profit.

In 2022, Brooks Bereavement Bears became an official non-profit in the state of Ohio. This organization gives me such great pride to help and comfort other women who have gone through a loss like me. It helps me honor my heavenly child and help me with my grieving process.

We are partnered with Cleveland Clinic Mercy and Aultman Hospital in Canton Ohio and MVHC in Cambridge, Ohio.

Dear moms reading this,

You are Never alone.

Your baby will always be with you.

Your Grief doesn’t have a end date.

Say your child’s name.

It’s ok to not be ok.

Love,

Taylor

If you or someone you know needs bears, please contact me below, visit our website for more information or how to donate!

We are 100% run off of donations!

Taylor Prelac

330-933-9692

taylor.prelac@brooksbereavementbears.com

www.brooksbereavementbears.com

https://www.news5cleveland.com/news/local-news/stark-county-nonprofit-helping-women-throughout-the-state-deal-with-pregnancy-loss

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